miss ohio must be feeling proud
Wednesday 3 November 2004 | I like a cookie
In my newsless state I actually looked at CNN.com, which said something polite about the Ohio secretary of state’s excuse being “general fatigue” and I didn’t know what expression to have on my face when I read that. Proud we are here in NM too, of our disorganization. Hey, I have a crazy idea: since the absentee ballots have to be mailed in before election day anyway, why not start counting them then?! Or is that just too damn wacky. Primarily all this bothers me because I don’t know whether I’m getting a bento box out of the Young Monk (whom I suppose I should start calling the Young Baker).
I’m still nowhere on my article, supposed to go to the Zen Temple for a seminar on the Zuimonki at 3 pm, I’ll never make it—and just got an email from the Editor advising me that the Film Critic is leaving! And I should throw my hat in the ring!
More things Buddhistic: this comes from the Ex-Sikh Wife (but her Indian male wore a turban and beard, and threw her silverware and linens out onto the front lawn one night after a fight).
JEWISH ZEN
1. Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as the distant mountain. And sit up straight. You’ll never meet the Buddha with such round shoulders.
2. There is no escaping karma. In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that?
3. To practice Zen and the art of Jewish motorcycle maintenance, do the following: get rid of the motorcycle. What were you thinking?
4. Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions. Keep in mind that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness.
5. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this and attaining enlightenment will be the least of your problems.
6. The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of others. The Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not take sides. The Tao is not Jewish.
7. The Buddha taught that one should practice loving kindness to all sentient beings. Still, would it kill you to find a nice sentient being, who happens to be Jewish?
8. To find the Buddha, look within. Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers. Each flower blossoms ten thousand times. Each blossom has ten thousand petals. You might want to see a specialist.
9. Be here now. Be someplace else, later. Is that so complicated?
10. Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkes!
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