archives for January 2007
overheard at health & human services: revisionist history lesson
Wednesday 31 January 2007 | I like a cookie
Jade [about four years old, standing in front of gumball machine, outraged]: Look what happened!
Jade’s dad: What?
Jade: I wanted that one!
Jade’s dad [shrugs]: You don’t get your pick.
Jade: But this isn’t the one I wanted!
Jade’s dad: Well, they pick for you. You get what they give you.
[Jade’s dad walks away. A beat, then Jade follows.]
Jade […]
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elle est arrivée
Wednesday 31 January 2007 | 2 cookies in the jar
Ms. Pyewacket, that is, who slept and drooled for most of the twelve-hour drive home, only beginning to yowl plaintively somewhere around Clines Corners. She seems to be adjusting fine, other than a tendency to follow me closely from room to room (so closely that she’s already been tripped over and stepped upon multiple times; […]
go elsewhere!
Tuesday 30 January 2007 | I like a cookie
The week’s searches yielded, inexplicably:
ponies for rent for a week
people with hunchbacks
funny cotton mather [he’s such a card]
I don’t know what you people are looking for, or why, but it’s clearly not here!
friday refrains · nick laird
Friday 26 January 2007 | I like a cookie
Zadie Smith and I have something in common: We were both first published by a young Cambridge editor named Nick Laird. To be fair, Nick went on to marry Zadie, and so far none of my editors has so much as proposed to me. But Nick did give me my first publication ever, in the […]
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photoshopped for the brujo’s blog
Wednesday 24 January 2007 | I like a cookie
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to mandarin in london
Wednesday 24 January 2007 | someone left a cookie
Because only she will properly appreciate the poignant beauty of the Stray Shopping Cart Project, for the sake of which a methodical gentleman by the name of Julian Montague has “worked for the past six years to develop a system of identification for stray shopping carts. Unlike a Linaean taxonomy, which is based on the […]
if that which you seek you find not within, you will never find it without
Tuesday 23 January 2007 | I like a cookie
The searches lately have been kind of boring…only a handful worth reporting:
“bald women” [yeah baby]
“scented small trash can liners” [not for sale]
“brain snapping sound” [hope sufferer not Googling for advice]
“Emsam shower” [fear an overdose in someone’s near future]
“shut up little man” “someday I will kill you” [dear Raymond & Peter]
“to me he seems like a […]
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overheard in therapy
Tuesday 23 January 2007 | I like a cookie
The DBT, disbelieving, on hearing about my old-maid brother-and-sister landlord and landlady: “Oh my God, it’s like something out of VC Andrews.”
water runs from the snow
Monday 22 January 2007 | someone left a cookie
this was unlike the story
it was written to be
I was riding its back
when it used to ride me
It has experienced (as Mandarin would say) an abrupt, inexplicable mood shift, from psychomotor retardation to near euphoria. And I’m not sure why. Could it have been when, in despair, I sat in the Cool Psychiatrist’s waiting room […]
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the rent was due last week
Monday 22 January 2007 | I like a cookie
And in profound avoidance of this fact, I hid all weekend at the Brujo’s house. It worked out in one way, because his car was in the shop all weekend; but in another, it didn’t, in that now it’s Monday and has been Monday for hours; I need a shower like you wouldn’t believe; no […]
