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the lack of what was found there

Sunday 29 July 2007 | I like a cookie

helping you not find stuff since 1998

I dreampt last night that my nonexistent girlfriend kept calling to ask me questions, and I told her sleepily, “You’re just using me to Google stuff!” Surveying the searches which bring people to our unreliable shores often yields many more questions than it answers. Why, for example, do so many people want to snort aripiprazole? Maybe we should try it. In the meantime, some of this month’s more outlandish, poignant, and kooky queries.

bryon katie I’m fat
strange thinks
numinosity creative writing
hunchbacks [what is the deal with this]
highway crucifix texas
deeply morbid
new mexico literary blogs [we’re on page 3]
weeping purple beech [very pretty]
famous men without photoshop [so, so many]
pagan rosary
orthorexia recovery
montgomery ward tractors [?!]
pelikano pink [right ON!]
make your own furball remedy [vaseline and brown sugar]
whatever is unnamed
thimble saffron zen
“the three sillies” moral
take the axe out of the ceiling [oh yeah]
made a mix tape and she broke up with him
cruel nicknames
single georgia christian nudists [!!!]
sulfugid
trash bag give out in santa fe, new mexico

Then there are the declarative statements:

“i love shaheen rassoul”
“i don’t even believe in jeebus”
“i hated dbt”
“i’m so happy I could kill myself”

The haunting questions:

what is the saddest book you ever read [A Tale of Two Cities when I was 13?]
what is a practicing recluse
the film critic did once say he found her hot why do people self-punish
what are the names of the people from boys like girls
how should I put into words tactfully that I quit my last job
how kill myself with benzodiazapine [no help here, baby]
can you snort abilify [and innumerable variations thereon]
how can I lose belly fat gained on zyprexa [two words: LAWN MOWING]

And very likely the best search ever:

edna krabapple porn


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