where would we be without dooce?
Sunday 29 July 2007 | 2 cookies in the jar
We’d still have our asses, because they wouldn’t be laughed off yet.
“Today I drove down to a hotel in the nether regions of Utah to camp out by myself and try to finish off some stuff I’ve got due very early next week. I had forgotten about this, but the billboards along the freeway in Utah get much more conservative the farther south you go, and there was this one point at about American Fork (pronounced Merkin Fark) that I almost crashed the car because I could not believe the advertisement, which basically said, Look, We know you’ve got A LOT of kids, like, more than most humans will ever see in a lifetime, including two sets of twins only ten months apart, and you must be sick of all that laundry, right? So we came up with the perfect solution for you. Are you ready? CAN YOU STAND IT? Picture this: a house that has a larger-than-normal laundry room! A bigger laundry room. This will fix your life!
“You know what would really fix that particular life? More oral sex. From someone who knows what they are doing.”
(God bless your little Jack Mormon heart, Heather Armstrong.)
Courtesy of same: Last Exit to Nowhere t-shirts, for all the fictional corporate gear you desire. Special unreliable prize if you guess the films of origin for these two samples (I still owe Kimba for being the hundredth commenter).
2 cookies in the jar
post your glowing encomium (or bitter philippic) »
Follow this heated, lively discussion through its very own feed; also, you can pingback or trackback from your own doubtlessly much more interesting site.
I read dooce’s hate-mail editions with the sort of ultimate esprit d’escalier feeling: I want her voice to address my children’s surliest teachers, uncooperative insurance phone people, and all of the bad drivers in the world, everyone who sort of deserves a round telling off only I find myself apologizing to them instead.
So I got Cyberdyne from Terminator even without the helpful tag, but d minor is the saddest key? I had been thinking High Fidelity… not Empire Records, wait, Spinal Tap!
BINGO! Hold your cards, folks, we got a winner over here.
I thought her most recent issue of “Exclamation Point” was especially, savagely brilliant. “Raise your hand if you made it to the end of that one….That’s what I thought.” Truly Ms. Parker is reborn in our midst, and smirking fate has saddled her with Utah, Mormons and an insane toddler.