friday refrains · mysterious vinyl, part II
Friday 9 November 2007 | I like a cookie
Who are the people who collect such things; and how can I meet and become friends with them? Here we find such marvels as The Handless Organist; Devastatin’ Dave; and of course, who could ever forget, having once seen…Heino. I swear I recognize some of the Xian-family albums from my demented fundamentalist childhood. But I think my favorite is dear Joyce, pictured here with her red rose (tragically marked down to 50¢)—such warmth, such humanity! Such pathos! Such an absofuckinglutely godawful poodle-head—which hairdo, as I think I mentioned a couple of Fridays ago, was once mine. And the earth-toned plastic-framed eyeglasses, regrettably.
To the über-thoughtful friend who’s been sending these delights, I replied:
Oh. My. God. Considering that I’m PMSing like a meth fiend, that I actually cancelled my 101 classes yesterday to hide in bed, that the Brujo left early this morning for SF and Duology III, that shortly thereafter a wad of toilet paper caused 15-20 gallons of water to cascade out onto the tile floor, and that the rental company’s handyman and I just snaked out the offending clump of tree fibers about 15 minutes ago….I NEEDED THIS DESPERATELY.
So now, while the bathroom floor dries, I’m going out for disinfectant (no hippie stuff today….we need maximum toxicity) and then, weirdly enough, to the quilting shop, which is having its 25th anniversary and therefore 25 percent off. I’m sure to get into trouble there, but then I did get paid today (even though I abandoned my students yesterday). Did you know, they have this thing called eBay? And you can buy stuff on there?! I found this out when I accidentally acquired a Hello Kitty cellphone charm for 99¢ a few days ago. Consumerism is fraught with many perils.
Like you, perhaps, a one-trick penpal [I only ever write her with jpegs of retro fabric], I send this cotton panel, a delightful celebration of domesticity which I found on that eBay place. I especially like the wee high-heeled homemaker who’s so everloving proud of her dishwasher. How come none of their toilets are overflowing?
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