archives for June 2008
slumlord 1, team awahtukee 0
Thursday 19 June 2008 | someone left a cookie
Cruelly, the First Annual Humor issue of the Un is still not finished; and we leave for our weird northern NM gambling vacation in but a few hours. And I still have to hoover and buy ice for the cooler—the Brujo is at summer school, competing with youtube for his students’ scattered focus (at present [...]
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the little dears
Thursday 19 June 2008 | 4 cookies in the jar
What I find most distressing is that the encomia are generally as badly spelled, punctuated and capitalized as the invective. But hey, what do I care whether I get the ratemyprofessor.com chili pepper for purported “hotness”; or whether I suffer from an astonishing lack of enthusiasm—all that matters to me is, THEY THINK I’M FUNNY! [...]
flarf
Sunday 15 June 2008 | someone left a cookie
And imagine, here I was all this time thinking flarf was that fuzzy stuff you could occasionally pluck from the male navel! Let it not be said that our finger is not SQUARELY SMACK-DAB on the pulse of contemporary littachur.
two weeks and one day
Saturday 14 June 2008 | someone left a cookie
“It is certainly very cold,” said Peggotty. “Everybody must feel it so.” “I feel it more than other people,” said Mrs. Gummidge. [Charles Dickens, David Copperfield] • And without warning, sometime between being woken by my furry alarm clock and now, it piles into me like an irate Arizonan in an monster truck. Okay. I [...]
how have I never read this book?!
Friday 13 June 2008 | 2 cookies in the jar
I record my life, sifting and trying to separate what is real from what I’ve dreamed. I have decided to tell you what is fact versus what is unfact primarily because (a) I am giving you a portrait of the essence of me, and (b) because, living where I do, living in the chasm that [...]
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practically answers itself, don’t it
Friday 13 June 2008 | 3 cookies in the jar
Well, so, maybe you’d think it would; but the fine-print text within indicates that its author (a serious gentleman by the name of Ray Comfort), deemed it necessary to be much more explicit as to exactly why/how you suck so hard. I found this cheery, colorful little bulletin this morning, conveniently placed outside the campus [...]
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call a doctor / call a priest
Thursday 12 June 2008 | I like a cookie
I was SO not just standing at the ironing board, Irish step-dancing in place to this song, half in tears. Nope. Not this hard-bitten cookie. feel your arms are opening out see your eyes are lifted to god and this curve is your smile and this cross is your heart and this line is your [...]
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on the illusion of transparency
Thursday 12 June 2008 | I like a cookie
When all is said and done, there is only one kind of illness memoir I can see to write and that’s a slippery, playful, impish, exasperating text, shaped, if it could be, like a question mark. [Lauren Slater, Lying: A Metaphorical Memoir] • At least you know there won’t be any goddamn ulterior motives in [...]
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reinventing the wheel
Wednesday 11 June 2008 | 3 cookies in the jar
Slowly, slowlyslowly, as in “slowly the Ice Age ended,” this morning I remembered—hey, there’s a whole section of the DBT skills training manual on acceptance! Fireworks, bells, applause, cheering, cherry bombs. The all-caps in the following passage actually aren’t my affectation (anyway not this time); they’re the Guilford Press typesetter’s, or maybe Marsha Linehan‘s; but [...]
(non)-acceptance
Wednesday 11 June 2008 | 5 cookies in the jar
Cranky. Cranky is what it is. It has a name and its name is, cranky. Relatively simple. Nothing fancy. And mostly just because 1. WHYYY can’t I get my shiny new avatar plugin to function even though I have spent an embarrassing amount of today trying to do so? This of course after suavely lecturing [...]
