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why I am a bad neighbor

Friday 31 October 2008 | someone left a cookie

Because we had the front door open to admit cool evening air, and innocent wee trick-or-treaters came to the door, stumbling over plastic chairs and table and ashtray in the dark, because we never even use that door, and I went into the living room because Fiona bayed and boomed like a team of berserk assassins was sneaking up on us, and really how were they to know she has no teeth? And that we have no portable, serving-sized sugar in the house? And that when I slipped up and shut and locked the door and tiptoed away, that I’m not really a child-hating asshole, just terminally shy? Happy All-Hallow’s Eve, tout le monde!

there is something wrong with me because I find this so FREAKING FUNNY!

someone left a cookie

  1. Mandarin said on Friday 31 Oct 2008 at 9.41 pm:

    If so, then it’s wrong with me too. I want to show this to everyone. I am laughing through my tears.

    But then again I’m the sort of person who works somewhere where I receive in-service training on abating blood, vomit, urine, and feces.


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