archives for Tuesday 2 December 2008
pimp my course
Tuesday 2 December 2008 | 19 cookies in the jar
So right now I have recruited fifteen students for the end of the world. The only hitch in mah git-along: fully thirteen of those students have names like Ashley and Brittany and Courtney. Because OMG I FORGOT I live in blonde Mormonworld, where Twilight was playing on all screens for a solid week, and where [...]
beatitude
Tuesday 2 December 2008 | 4 cookies in the jar
As the shower-pipe drip rusts around the drain into a blue-green copper-encrusted calcium ring rimed with hard water, salted with lime, so the ugly plumbing runnels through this can track and channel who we are back down into who did it, started it, and when. Though common doctrine prevents our going there, as if entrails [...]
top ten reasons why the gays should not be permitted to marry
Tuesday 2 December 2008 | someone left a cookie
Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like polyester, air conditioning, and Splenda. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people makes you shop for heels. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even [...]
read ‘top ten reasons why the gays should not be permitted to marry’
let’s call the whole thing off
Tuesday 2 December 2008 | 7 cookies in the jar
So about half an hour ago, after three years of blissful romantic delusion, my domestic partner sees fit to drop it on me that he likes fruitcake. We are eating spumoni together (which does have candied fruit in it, hence this untimely revelation) and I am arrested, spoon halfway from carton to mouth. “Um, I’m [...]
